I have been having some weird combinations of symptoms and cant quite diagnose the issue. I am keeping an open mind to see if there is anything I need to do to learn from them. I assure you I am not taking any kind of medication what so ever and no Kettle House Beer either. I did do the Butte 100 a couple weeks ago and some things happened there to make me open to change. So here are my symptoms.
My dirt powers have been stripped. Like my mountain bike is … just a bike and not a chariot of speed.
No appetite at times and then famished at others. Like a roller coaster.
Almost like going into shock after a loss of blood.
Emotional outbursts, almost feel like weeping without seeing a sappy movie.
Nervous anxiety like a job interview.
Feel out of control.
Sad, scared, and helpless all at the same time.
Feel as if I am about to die.
Very nervous and jittery.
Physical dull but tingly pain in the middle of my chest.
Almost feels like a Excedrin overdose.
Lonely (yea, weird).
Feel shaky and unbalanced (not good for cycling).
I must make note that I have a long standing symptom that may or may not have something to do with this. I seem to keep the people I really love at a great distance. I never get close to anyone local. Strange but I just realized it.
Here are some of my thoughts on what could be happening.
Heart attacks, numerous ones.
Bad reaction to combining wine and cardamom ice cream.
Bad reaction to candle smoke / aroma therapy devices.
Finally have rode my bike too much (burn out).
Being heartless and finally losing my actual heart. Brought on by a deprivation schema where as a child I was not empathized with or was deprived of affection, thus becoming heartless.
Been compromised by a cute secret agent who implanted me with a device or ideology that my body is rejecting. Could I have been brain washed? Abducted?
Organs were harvested (explains the tingly stomach area).
Any other suggestions?
Now some treatments and things I think I can do until I figure this all out.
Stay away from cardamom ice cream, candles, and wine until these symptoms go away.
Keep things clear and communicate with others. Seek friends and open up. Do the opposite of what I want to do.
Force myself to ride a bike. It has to be good for the soul.
Stay away from distortions and irrational thinking. Joking around is fine (so I can do this blog, it is how I am, was told it is a good quality).
Get a cat scan to see if all my organs are accounted for.
Seek out emotionally available people. Preferably ones that bike.
When I was a child my mom used to say, “Its just growing pains”. Yea! like don't you think I have stopped growing … maybe I haven't. Again; lack of empathy for me as a child and see what happens…o/o